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MARITAL BLISS IS NOT A FAIRYTALE

The marital journey starts out as this big community of people, events, and fun leading up to the wedding day. There’s just so much love in the air. It’s the season filled with congratulations. 


Working towards making the big day perfect brings all kinds of stress but it’s all going to be worth it when it’s better than we imagined. We’re so focused on THE DAY, that we forget about nurturing the relationship. 


Then all of a sudden, in a matter of hours, it’s over. They day has come and gone. The people have gone back to their lives. There are no more events. Life feels ordinary; far from all the excitement of preparing for the wedding.


We’re in our new place, and it’s quiet. This is where the marriage begins. 


Did you get the memo that it was going to be work, real work, but real fun work too? I sure hope so. 


Remember why you wanted to be married in the first place. To live a life with your best friend. To enjoy their company forever. To share in a commitment of love. Has that changed? Probably not, but something has changed in you.


The three best pieces of marriage advice I got were:

  • Make yourself happy. He can never make you happy. It’s not his job, and even if he tried, he couldn't bear the weight of such a heavy task. If you think about it, a human being cannot do God’s work. Bringing joy into the hearts of people has always been and will always be God’s work. 

And,


  • Your marriage account is empty. You cannot withdraw what you didn’t deposit. If you want love, deposit plenty of it. If you want compassion, deposit plenty of it. If you want reliability, deposit plenty of it. If you think about it, it’s a biblical principle that leads to a happier you. There is greater joy in giving than in receiving. 

And,

  • Love is service. Make a decision daily to outdo each other in showing love. Sometimes we have to go back and be reminded of the true meaning of love in 1 Corinthians 13. To be patience, kind, not to envy/boast/be proud, not to dishonor, not to self-seek, not to be easily angered, and not to keep a record of wrong. That’s our definition of love.  


It’s easy to focus on the other person, what he should do, and what he should be. It’s human nature. Try this next time you find yourself going down that mental path, picture yourself pointing the finger at your partner. One finger is pointing at him, and four fingers are pointing back at you. The only thing you can control in life is yourself. Don’t lose yourself in trying to fix another person. It’s wasted effort that yields very bad results. Focus on being the best you, that you can be. Living with purpose and zeal for life and love. That’s the only way you can ensure that you will always be destiny bound. 


The marriage in the bible that we are shown intimately is that of Abraham and Sarah. 1 Peter 3: 6 states, “For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.” The word master captures respect for her husband. This scripture does not focus on what Abraham did, but what Sarah did. A wise woman builds her house. Let’s serve our husbands and children out of love. The world says, I won’t do anything for you unless you do something for me; but God says I will cause the sun to shine on the good and the bad. Let’s love like our Lord does. It’s an extravagant kind of love. Never waiting to see how we will respond, but continuously showering us with his love. When we get tired, He will fill us up. 


We cannot create marital bliss even with our best efforts, but in obedience to His word love will abound in our homes.


How have you created bliss in your marriage?


*Submitted & Published November 2018 issue of Ruby For Women


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